Recently there was a call in a local English newspaper for male foreigners living in Japan to share their experiences with the authors of an upcoming guide to living in Japan, to be written from a male perspective. In part because I thought it would make good blog fodder, I decided to participate. (As you can see if you’ve stopped by in the last two weeks, I’m in desperate need of some blog fodder. Actually, blog fodder time might be more accurate, as I seem to have none these last couple of weeks). So, the idea is that the authors will be asking via email one question per day for 30 days. Without further ado, here’s the first question, and my response:
What are the things that surprised you the most when you first came to Japan? What things do you wish you had known before coming?
Well, I had been to Japan twice before actually moving here, both as a tourist, although my second visit (last year) was for a month and was sort of a “dry run” at what living in Japan with my (at the time future) in-laws would be like. So I think there have been fewer surprises than there might have been otherwise.
That said, there were a few things that I was unprepared for or that surprised me.
First, the language. Frankly I was taken aback and how little my years of casual study of Japanese prepared me for the actuality of speaking the language with real live Japanese people! 🙂 This is the classic problem really that Japanese learners of English face, years of study but no natives to speak to, therefore they can’t speak one iota of the language. It was almost the same for me.
Now, one can survive quite comfortably in a city like Tokyo without ever learning the language, but if there is any personal inclination to stay here for a while, and do all the things that one does when actually living in a place, one feels the desire to make Japanese friends, discuss opinions and feelings, understand your neighbors, read the newspaper, etc., these are things that can’t be done with survival Japanese, or no Japanese.
Japan is not nearly as expensive as it’s made out to be, especially if one has moved here from an expensive American city, like I did having moved here from San Francisco. As a tourist, naturally the country is expensive. But in day to day living, if you’re a smart and disciplined shopper (or in my case, married to one who is), there’s no need to break the bank. Transportation is expensive (though most companies reimburse employees for commuting expenses), and so weekend getaways and exploring Japan can be prohibitively expensive. Eating out in Tokyo can be expensive, but there are plenty of places that are extremely reasonable or downright cheap.
Japan can be a fairly rigid country with respect to customs and traditions, and although this is changing, it is still very much of a conformist society where individuality is not looked upon very positively. I have found that people are very much “set in their ways”. While this in and of itself wasn’t surprising, my strong negative reactions to it have been surprising and something I wasn’t quite prepared for. Or rather, I thought I would adapt more easily to it than I have. I’m not sure there is anything I could have done beforehand to alleviate it.
Along these lines, I was surprised at the extent to which one stands out as a foreigner in this country, especially is one lives in the surburbs or away from the major cities. While seeing folks nearly fall off their bicycles as they turn around to stare at the foreigner in their midst is initially amusing, it grows tiring really fast. Recently another American moved into the neighborhood. Even before he had moved in, via neighborhood gossip passed on to my mother-in-law, I knew more about this guy than I had any right to know without having met him. I can only imagine what the entire neighborhood knows about me!