Naoko had her usual bi-weekly check-up today, and I brought the video camera along as well as the digital still, and took some shots. Each time Naoko goes in, the doctor performs an abdominal ultrasound, and so by this point she’s had many of these performed on her. (In the first and second trimesters, she visited the doctor once a month; now in the third trimester, she visits bi-weekly). Each time she goes, the doctor records the ultrasound onto a videotape compilation (he actually appends each new ultrasound record to the end of one existing tape), so we now have what is in effect a 30-minute plus abstract film documenting the prenatal growth of our child. It’s fascinating and mysterious to watch.
Naoko’s pregnancy has to date been my only experience with the Japan National Healthcare system (not including a trip to the dentist which I must say did not leave me impressed), and so far I have been more or less impressed, and feeling reasonably comfortable about Naoko giving birth under such a system (obviously I’m in a good position to be comfortable, not being the one pregnant). And certainly one can’t complain about the price. Take these ultrasounds, for example. I don’t have direct knowledge, but from some web reading and information from one of Naoko’s friends who lives in the States, these ultrasound procedures can run anywhere between $200 to $300 per scan, and generally are performed only two or three times during a pregnancy. On average, Naoko pays ¥3,800 (around $31USD) for each visit, which automatically includes the scan (and the scan photos and video recording). (To be fair, obviously those with health insurance in the States would have some of that $200 to $300 reimbursed, so I’m not making the best comparison here).
In addition to detecting birth defects or abnormalities, these scans are primarily used by expectant families to determine the baby’s gender. Naoko and I have made the decision that we don’t want to know until the baby is born, but of course the doctor has known now for some time, and I always think he’s going to accidentally spit it out on one of these visits. It’s interesting, most folks I mention this too express surprise at us not wanting to know. I don’t know exactly why, but for some reason I always imagined (in those brief moments when I allowed myself the fantasy that I might one day have children) that not knowing was somehow how it “should be”, that somehow that was the natural order of things and that I wasn’t going to let modern technology disrupt that way of thinking. At any rate, I haven’t heard any compelling arguments for why it would be better to know. Naoko and I are not the type of people who believe in pink-for-girls, blue-for-boys anyway, so arguments about it being easier to buy clothes, for example, don’t cut much mustard with me. I think however that we’re in the minority on this. A “Do you want to know your baby’s sex?” poll on BabyCenter.com shows that out of 149, 469 responses so far, a whopping 71% want to know, compared to only 21% who don’t want to know (8% undecided).
Of course, one perhaps good reason to know is to stop all the mind-racing and dreaming and fantasizing that my mind has been going through all these months. It’s interesting how, despite all efforts to the contrary, my mind gets invariably locked in to certain preconceived notions (pardon the pun) about the baby’s sex. For the longest time, whenever I thought of the child-to-be, I envisioned a girl, probably because I want a girl more than a boy (Naoko has the opposite hope, by the way). So try as I might not to, when I thought about the child, had hopes for it, worries about supporting it and about a million other things, wondered how i would talk to it, and play with it, I did so with near-conviction that a girl would be coming out of the womb. But a couple of weeks ago, during one of Naoko’s hospital visits, the doctor told us that the baby is bigger than normal, perhaps around a week bigger (in other words, it’s size now at the 32nd week is what it should be at the 33rd week). Not abnormally so, but bigger than average. Not terribly surprising, given both Naoko and I’s body types (let’s be honest, “slim” and “slender” are not going to be the first words that pop into your head should you meet either of us). But now, with this mention about size from the doctor, my mind has done a complete 180° reversal, and I’m now dead sure in my mind that Naoko will be giving birth to a boy (and perhaps the next Takanohana at that!). Of course being slightly bigger than normal is not a trait exclusive to the male species, but damned if I can’t now shake my newfound conviction that in less than two months time, Naoko and I will be smiling upon a newborn boy. In any event, we’ve made our bed and we’re going to sleep in it, and are not about to ask the doctor at this stage. So stay tuned, as they say…. Click on the link below for a few more photos from today’s visit.
not knowing – that’s the way to go. for sure. i think you are supposed to be confused and uncertain. to have all the questions and assumptions. part of the process. to wonder. good luck.
I also would not want to know the sex of my baby. Here’s a chance to take a rest from our constant thirst for knowledge and submit to natures whim for once. Our ‘big city’ worlds are so controlled that there is just too little mystery left in our lives.
Our first baby was hugh as well, but as you know, she is growing big as a girl now.
In our case, neither of use cared if the baby was going to be a boy or a girl–as long as it was healthy!–but the doctors steadfastly refused to tell us.
In the weeks just prior to delivery, my mother-in-law was sure beyond all doubt that the baby would be a boy. Why? Because it was huge, much bigger than normal in the final stages of the pregnancy. She was more than a little shocked when her grandchild turned out to be a girl–a whopping 4.2 kg bundle of joy.
Best wishes to you and your family. The next few months are sure to be among the most memorable of your lives (well, for you and your wife, at least).
As for health insurance in the States, you are not as far off as you think. Many people (for instance, my son) have no insurance at all–so they are paying the full price for health care–when they go, which is only for emergencies.
I came close to losing all my insurance after I lost my job, but eventually was picked up by my husband’s insurance (for health only, not dental–that $800.00 bill for a cap on a chipped tooth came out of my rapidly declining savings. His company’s health insurance is not as comprehensive as mine was. The copay for doctor’s visits and medication is higher and a lot of lab work (pap smears, blood tests) is much higher. For my yearly exam with lab work I now pay close to $100–and that’s WITH insurance.
Last January when I was hospitalized with pneumonia, the bill was close to $6,000.00. Luckily I was still under my own insurance and only had to pay $1,000.00. (Only!) I’d much rather be sick in Japan than in the States!
Actually, in the States, you are lucky if you get ONE ultrasound. (Per Insurance Company guidelines.)
Unless they find some major anomaly in that single scan at 20 to 24 weeks, you never get another one.
AND, my visits were one for 1st trimester (@ 12 weeks, and not a day before – they don’t have any desire to see you before then), once every 4 to 6 weeks during 2nd trimester..every other week month 8, and once a week month 9 (and 10, in my case).
So, by the sounds of it, you’re getting EXCELLENT care there.
One other observation.. I was HUGE. I looked to be carrying twins. The doctors said I ‘measured’ ahead of the size I should be the entire pregnancy. Boy? No– a 10 lb girl.
There are many old-wives tales* for gender: If your wife craves sweet things, it must be a girl. (Esp. oranges for some reason.) If she craves salty, a boy. If she carries ‘low’ (feels as if the baby is between her knees in month 9, for example) it’s characteristic of a boy.
(*Caveat: I proved the first old-wive’s tale wrong –I craved meat. Odd for a former vegetarian. I apparently wanted an Atkins style diet! And, again, that was with a girl.)