Oh, I’m having a good time this afternoon reading some of my fellow Japan bloggers. Gaijinworld has a side-splitting look at one of the few things Japanese will get visibly upset about, parking. (He doesn’t have permalinks, find the entry for August 30, 2002). It’s been quite a while since I’ve laughed this hard. The following is quoted out of context so please go to his site and read the whole thing:
By the time I came back some forty minutes later, the van was awash in post-it notes, taped-on pieces of paper and written evidence of general ill-feeling. The wild woman was gone, though not for long as it turned out. I read what I could of a few of the notes, though I was scared she might attack out of nowhere. She might launch herself at anyone stopping to show an interest in the van, I thought. I expected claws and teeth and hair on my back, so I read quickly. The dog, drew away, whimpering, sensing the malevolence in the air around the van. As far as I could make out, the note in the lowest possible level of politeness (still about ten levels above our western everyday level of politeness in English) told the owner that this was definitely not his parking space and that her next move was calling the police to remove his van if it wasn’t taken away AT ONCE. There were at least ten of these notes.
To Gaijinworld’s garbage and parking as the two things that will actually force Japanese to break their normally placid and stoic reserve, I might add “accosting one’s mother-in-law about her loud house cleaning at 9am on a Sunday morning”. I should also qualify this and add that the accosting should be done while not fully awake and prior to one’s daily caffiene intake, and in the most basic, non-polite, and grammatically incorrect Japanese possible, for maximum effect. This I know from personal experience, having committed this grievous sin about two months ago. My mother-in-law’s shrill cries of “wagamama otoko” (“you are a spoiled man”) and “sore wa Nihon!” (“this is Japan!”) still ring in my ears. The whole thing was quite unpleasant, and I regret the incident deeply. However, I wrongly assumed that things would be awkward for only a couple of days, and then we’d get on with our lives, each the wiser and more understanding of our respective cultural differences and sleep habits.
Unfortunately, the brittle icy block of resentment that came over our relationship lasted quite a bit longer than I thought, and really has only started to thaw in the last couple of weeks, and I suspect tiny residual beads of animosity will last much much longer. I have to wonder if the ill feelings my mother-in-law still obviously harbors about the incident are not in some measure a result of shame at losing her cool, and holding me responsible for that.
Speaking of mothers, Yuki over at Japanish has an amusing rant about her Mom, and specifically her Mom’s cooking. I could rant similarly about my mother-in-law (though not about the cooking, which I am very grateful for), which would feel oh so good I admit, but probably not advance our painfully slow detente.
